Fat,,S,,

One of the girls he met off the internet was so fat that the two of them together looked like the number 10.When they were trying to get amarous she started getting her period and made him go and buy tampons.When she went to the toilet he decided to try her tong on.(if your wondering why i know so much detail ,J tells everything when ever he has an encounter,no matter he stupid it makes him sound)

Tales from Ozlaid House(A Cork Horror story)

Hi ,i live in Cork,a small city in Ireland.Between 2001 and 2002 i lived in an apartment building called Ozlaid house,which will be familiar to most Cork people as its right in the center and its name is embazoned on a neon sign,which dates from when it used to be a cheap hotel.There i got to know an individual so stupid and so annoying that the stories i have about him would seem far fetched if you saw them on Dumb and Dumber.All ill say is that hes from T............. ,in his mid to late 20s and now lives in New York,but more of that later.On my next entry ill tell you more of this fellow and his wise sayings and unententionally amusing actions, So long for now, Darkman. Firstly let me describe his physical appearence.Hes about 6 ,2,but built like an anorexic Ethiopian,and his head is too big for his body.He likes to fashion his appearence on James Dean,with a leather Jacket with the collar turned up,plus very cheap plastic sunglasses.I wet bowling with him and some friends once.He couldent hold up the ball properly and just sort of left it drop,while hunched over like a constipated hunchback.He found it very funny if i or anyone else missed the pins,he likes to laugh at other people but gets very odd indeed if he finds himself on the end of ridicule.One of his biggest joys is searching the internet for potential sex partners.In a moment of frankness he confessed that he was a virgin till he was 24 ,and that if it wasent for the internet he probably would still be.He also said that in his first sexual encounter he got so excited that he came in his pants.He has a tendency to go for the ugliest women available ,in the belief that theyre the easiest.His motto on this is ,,A rides a ride!,,.He has tried to chat up the ugliest women imaginable in order to get his hole,and he dosent seem the slightest bit embarresed .In fact i was told by a friend who was with him in a nightclub that that our hero(who i will refer to as J),spotted a woman who was clearly in her 50s ,and who sported in my sources own words,the biggest nose hed ever seen.J declared that this woman must be gagging for it as shes unlikely to get much offers looking like that.So over he goes supremly confident of a conquest.He askes her does she want a drink.Her only reply is a shake of the head.J comes back seething.,,The fucking bitch,who does she think she is?,,Its not like shes going to get many offers,,.Yes J dosent take rejection too well,though hes experienced plenty of it.Another two obsessions of his are lesbians and asian women.He actually declared hed love to be a lesbian for a day,and decided without any hint of irony(he rarely jokes)that lesbians must have a great time being able too feel themselves all the time and thats what hed do if he was one.Hed often search personal ads for lesbians to contact,seemingly oblivious to the fact that lesbians arent likely to be too attracted to a straight male.He also searched a website for Chinese brides but was very annoyed that most of the ads were in Chinese.,,Youd think if theyre looking for western husbands that theyd put the ads in English,, he fumed.